The Carrot Monster

How did our parents ever survive? This is something that has been bothering me for a while. It seems like everywhere we turn, something else is deemed inappropriate or irresponsible or illegal. You can't discipline your children because you might be abusing them. Now, instead of children who respect their elders, we have children who are lazy and irresponsible who push the limits of others in their world. TV shows that were considered good family fun thirty years ago are now banned from the eyes of children everywhere.

But what amazes me most is the focus on nutrition. Have you heard that Cookie Monster is going on a diet? Instead of eating cookies all the time, he's now a health food nut. Cookies are "sometimes" food now. Cookie, cookie, cookie starts with C. That's good enough for me! I want more cookies!!! Now, I grew up on Sesame Street. And I'm a healthy 130 pounds. I eat cookies pretty frequently, but I don't live on them. Any caring adult should be able to supplement that cookies are yummy, but not give in to every child's temptation about eating cookies constantly. At least it's not as bad as it sounds. Chelsea Carter wrote a great article researching the great cookie heist. At least the Monster isn't giving up totally. He's just doing what parents should already be doing... teaching their kids moderation.

Really.. what has parenting become these days? If a child throws a temper tantrum, your best bet is to take them out of the very public place you're in to discipline them. Panic over every bruise or scratch to make sure you aren't accused of child abuse. Give in to every whim so they don't ever hate you? I'm sorry, that won't happen. I can't count how many times I told my mom or dad I hated them. I also can't count how many times I got grounded for it. I'm sure it's a 100% ratio. But you know what I learned? To respect my elders. As I got older, I realized that hey, maybe my parents do know a thing or three. What a concept.

At a recent Girl Scout meeting, one of my girls was talking about her friend, saying something about how this friend was speaking very poorly about her mother. The girl in my troop was amazed at how her friend could talk like that and not be afraid of being reprimanded. At 18 years of age, she was very aware that her mother still had the power to knock her on her butt if she really wanted to. I piped in and told her to never forget it. I'm 28, and I'm sure if I ever really crossed my mother, she'd knock me flat faster than I could squeak out an "I'm sorry."

Anywho, just had to rant about that for a while. I just don't understand how our parents who were strictly disciplined (sometimes whipped with a belt!), were fed vicious lies about how cookies are anytime food from a fictional blue furry puppet, and were often told "No" by their elders ever survived. Clearly, they all have mental issues and should be locked up in asylums. Obviously, our spoiled rotten brats will make much better people, and if they don't get their way, they can just throw a temper tantrum!

Ok, I'm off my pedestal now. Oh, and by the way, Mom and Dad, Thank You. Thank you for telling me No. Thank you for grounding me. Thank you for asking where I was going, who I was going with, and when I would be back. And thank you for grounding me when I wasn't back on time. Thank you for making me read those books. Thank you for making me do my homework. Thank you for making me do things on my own and learn from my mistakes. I really appreciate it! I love you!

I'm Just a Victim Here

Ok.. I think I just need to rant.

Don't get me wrong. I love my sister. I have spent the last 26 years of my life making sure she's taken care of and being there when she needs me (whether she realized it or not).

So, yeah, my feelings were hurt when she claimed she was "all alone" in her latest pregnancy. (She learned at about 4 months that the baby had a 1% survival rate because it was missing some vital organs like the kidneys.) My feelings were hurt even more when she chose her best friend to be in the room and make her decisions rather than me or Mom. But I love my sister, we were all there for her, whether she wanted us to be or not, and now that it's over, she realizes just how much her pregnancy and the baby affected us, too, not just her.

But these last few days have made me want to shake her senseless until she gets a clue. She's in a lousy job. She works for Village Pantry, and every day she comes home complaining about some stupid thing said to her or done to her. Her title is "Manager in Training" because they can't find a store to keep her in (she's been manager and not manager more times than I can count on one hand). Yet people who slack off and kiss butt seem to get promoted (and fired) like crazy. Before she recently got the title of Manager last year, she was told they couldn't make her manager because she was too good as an assistant manager. The store she was at would fall apart if she changed locations. What kind of bullcrap is that????

So VP's recent shenanigans have her finally looking for a job some place else. Her entire life she has wanted to be an accountant, but the first time she tried to go to school she flunked out because she was too wrapped up in her deadbeat boyfriend with an attitude problem -- come on, wanting to celebrate her birthday with her sister and friends is a CRIME? THERE is a whole other story. Her second attempt at college only lasted one semester because the company that was paying for it fired her.. because she wasn't professional with the customers. She claims it was because she got pregnant and wasn't married.

But now she won't go back to school because it costs too much and she doesn't have enough time. Kiddo, I'm not promising it will be easy. Yes, it will take a lot of time to focus on your schoolwork. But, it IS possible. School is EASY for working adults with families. There are hundreds.. thousands.. of programs dedicated to adults interested in furthering their careers. To get anywhere in this world today, you need to have a degree, and colleges and universities all over the world are jumping on the immediate revenue possibilities generated by that need. Financial aid is so amazingly offered that you don't have to pay for school until six months after you graduate. That should be PLENTY of time to find a decent job if you're not searching for that damn needle.

Look, I go to school full time currently. Up until last month, I worked two jobs on top of it. AND I still try to spend time with my husband and doggie and kitties... and usually succeed. But it's not easy. You have to learn how to budget your time .. you want to be an accountant, so learn how to budget, girl.

Ok, the real thing that set me off today though is her personal appearance. She's a smoker, has been for years. It shows. She probably doesn't have the best dental hygiene on top of it. The seams between her teeth are caked with plaque and tar. She says she has cavities in most of her teeth. It's really rather disgusting to look at. But she won't get them fixed. It costs too much. Her insurance won't cover a fraction of it, and she can't afford to take the time off from work that would be needed to have it done. Since she's looking for a job at a bank, our dad offered to help her get her teeth looked at, cleaned, and fixed. I'd even put money on that he would help her pay her bills if she had to take a month off work to have it done.

And you know what she said? Her feelings were hurt. It was awfully snobbish of him to imply that she needs to concentrate on her appearance if she's going to be in the public eye every day. Her response that she already is only sparked a debate about how people on the south side of Indy might accept that she doesn't care about her teeth, but if she's going to look for jobs at banks on the north side she needs to take better care of herself.

Honestly, it doesn't really matter WHERE you get that job. People make up their minds about you in the first thirty seconds that they meet you. If you give them a bad impression, you spend all your time convincing them how wonderful you really are and trying to change their minds rather than building on an already great relationship because their first opinion was the right one. It's like putting on jeans, then taking them off, trying on thirty other pairs of jeans just to go back to the first one. Why waste the effort is the first one was right in the first place?

Anywho, as much as I love my sister and the darling children she has produced, if she wants to set a good example for her kids, she herself needs to grow up and get over herself. STOP BEING A VICTIM!!! It's not everyone else's fault that you have a crummy job. It's not everyone else's fault that you haven't succeeded at school. It's not everyone else's fault that you look like you don't care about yourself. GROW UP ALREADY.

Ok I'm done now.

A Squiggle Runs Through It

I'm in week five of my class, so that means I'm on campus today to wrap things up. Being a management theory class, we're learning what makes a good manager.

As a group exercise, our instructor asked us to get out a piece of paper and draw a square, a circle, a triangle and a squiggle. Then she asked us to circle the shape that appealed to us most. Without knowing what the shapes represent, she said that it gives a fairly decent indication of your personality type. It's not an accurate examination by any means, and it has a high chance of being wrong, and there are days that you may reflect one type of personality that's outside your normal sphere.

With 11 people in the group, we actually had each type well represented: 2, 3, 3, and 3. I chose the squiggle, but really struggled because I tend to be very circular with the designs I create. It really was a toss-up, but since I'm in a good (and funky) mood today, I choose the squiggle.

So, in case you're wondering, this is the breakdown:

The triangle represents people who are good at designing systems and processes. However, while they are great at designing the processes, they don't want to actually do it and have a tendency to not get it done because they get bored. They're constantly looking for new challenges, and they have a problem with tact.. they don't know what it is.

Squares are people who wear very basic colors. If you look at their planners, not only do they use them, they are organized and often color-coded. They get things done, they're direct, and they make good closers. They make sure the process gets finished. Circles make processes; Squares make processes happen.

Squiggles are the opposite of squares. They tend to wear brighter, more flamboyant clothing. They're creative and come up with idea after idea after idea after idea. They're innovative and unique. If you look at a squiggle's planner (and yes, they do have one), it's filled with post-it notes. Squiggles have post-it notes everywhere. They'll have a post-it that says to "Call Judy." It might not say where or when or why, and they may even wonder who Judy is, but they have a note that says to do it! The end does not exist for squiggles. They tend to grasp the concept of infinity well.

And finally we have circles. Circles love relationships. They're all about helping people feel better and friendship. They're very social, and they make good people for the squares to dump stuff on because they like to make people happy. If a square comes up and says, "Can you do this for me? Because I have this to do and that to do, and I'll never get this done!" And the circle will say, "You poor thing, of course I'll do it!" even though their list may be twice as long as the square's.

So, after all this, and after we all looked at each other while we were going through the exercise and nodding and laughing at how accurate it was, I decided I'm really more of squiggley circle. Or, a circle with a squiggle running through it. I am a Post-It Note Queen who thrives on keeping people happy. Where did you end up?

Whose turn is it?

Ten years ago, I remember taking a test to get my driver's license. Somewhere, there was a rule about stop signs. Whoever gets there first goes first. If two or three or four people get there at the same time, whoever is furthest to the right goes first. Then it goes clockwise around the circle. At least that's how I remember it. PLEASE, correct me if I'm wrong.

So this is where my frustration is today. Today I stopped at the intersection at 126th Street and Brookschool Road. When I arrived at the intersection, the two cars at the cross street crossed in front of me. Because the cars across from me arrived first, I hesitated for them to go. One was going straight and one was turning left. Since the rule is one side is supposed to go at a time, not both directions go at a time, I waited. And after the car turned, the car behind me honked. But it was the next side's turn to go; the cars on my right had the right-of-way, if what I learned is correct. There was also a car going straight and a car turning left. When the truck on my left started to go straight, I hesitated turning right, thinking he wasn't going to wait. Again, the car behind me honked.

I was really rather irritated. It's not "both sides go at once"; it's "one side goes, and then the next." Anywho, I think people should have to pass that test every couple of years, just to remind them of basic traffic rules. The busier it gets out here, the worse the traffic gets. It's just nuts.

So What is the Point, Again?

Saturday night around 9:00 pm I sat down to write a paper about how my company is organized as it relates to technology, human resources, finances, physical assets, or something else in 1050-1200 words. The paper was due by midnight, and a classmate pointed out that this paper was worth 15 points, not 5 like the others we'd turned in previously.

So I racked my brain trying to figure out what I'm going to put into this paper. At around 10:30, I submitted somewhere around 987 words of a convoluted mess. I thought there was no way I was going to get a decent grade on this paper, 10 points at best. That was ok, at least it was something, and I was holding a pretty steady A for the class, so missing a few points because I dropped the ball wasn't a big deal to me.

Now, I have always excelled at school. Well, almost always. The first time I failed a class ever, I quit going to school. I couldn't handle the fact that I got less than a C, and I'd only ever had 2 Cs as final grades in all my fifteen years of learning (K-college). When I finally did go back to college, not only did I have a 3.89/4.0 GPA, I was at the top of my class for my major and was named Honor Student for one of the two programs I was in. I don't know how to not do well at school. It hurts to not put 110% effort in.

So, as I said, Saturday I really struggled with this assignment. I had put it off until the last possible minute because I had no idea what to write about. I didn't ask my boss for input to help push me along, and I had very poor examples to support my statements. I certainly thought it was horrible.

Then I got my grades back last night. 14.6 out of 15 points. 0.2 of that was because I forgot to include a cover sheet. Even the automagic grammar/spelling checker didn't have that many issues, and most of those it did have weren't valid (there are just some things computers do not understand).

Soo.. I didn't try, I scrambled at the last minute, and didn't support my topic well. And still got an A? It really makes me wonder why I put the effort in at all. This was actually a better grade than I had received on previous papers that were better written.

I just don't understand.

Retail Management: Whose Fault Is It?

I recently started going back to school at the University of Phoenix to get two bachelors degrees to add to my growing collection of certified knowledge: Marketing, because for some reason my clients expect me to know how to market the websites I build for them (that is a whole other story); and Management, because I only needed to pick up five more classes to get the second degree, and it gives me something to fall back on if the whole web dev thing falls through in the next few years. Plus, it's not bad to have the "official" knowledge of how to be a manager.. wow I almost got way off my topic there. I may have to post something else on that. ANYWHO... retail management.

I worked for way too long at a local department store. Well, not local, it's a national chain with 1100 stores. Not counting the nine months I up and moved to Texas, I worked at that store for nine years: five in Greenwood IN, and four in the Castleton store on the northside of Indy. I worked in a variety of different positions, starting as a float covering breaks and call-ins in nearly every department of the store, moving to the window coverings department, then to the visual department who manages the displays and marketing in the store, and back to the home department when I started working full time for my dad. Among all these various positions and the amount of time there, I got to know the basic hierarchy of the store fairly well.

So how does this relate to the anecdote about UoP and going back to school? Well, I'm in this management theory class right now. We're talking about the different functions of management, and whether or not we've had good managers now or in the past. Obviously, there are a lot of things that go into making a good manager. It helps to be born with it, but there really are a lot of things a person needs to learn to be an effective manager. And you have to define, does effective mean good? Does good mean effective? What really is a good manager?

So, with my extensive experience in the retail industry, and my generally friendly nature, I said I've had nothing but wonderful managers in my lifetime. :) The thing of it is, in retail, you really have to be a good manager or you just won't last. You have to be able to delegate tasks in order to make sure customers are being helped, merchandise is being stocked or rearranged or whatever the day dictates, and employees are being trained. You have to ensure your employees are knowledgeable about the product or the product probably won't sell. The list goes on and on.

So my question is, whose fault is it if a department is seen as being managed poorly? What makes it seem so? That the employees aren't trained? That merchandise isn't being put away or straightened? Is there enough staff on hand to make sure all these needs are being met? The problem with the store that I worked in is that there was a rule of thumb that said three associates should be on the floor in each department at all times. However, in order to budget hours for times when every associate had to work, such as the holly day [yes, holly day...another potential topic.. I'm on a roll tonight] season, the managers have to trim back the hours somewhere else; which means, not enough hours to put three people out in the department at all times.

Ok, so we ask for more hours. If we do that, then the price of the merchandise has to go up in order to cover the cost of the additional staff. Or, we start paying the staff less, which more than likely means people who won't be motivated to actually learn the product and be nice to customers. It's pretty rare to find someone who is willing to work for minimum wage AND put effort into their jobs.

Because we are demanding better customer service, paying high school kids who don't give a damn really isn't going to work in the long run. People will stop going to that store because they can't get the help they need. But the other option is just as unappealing. Raise prices? Customer Service.. Low Cost. Americans today are way too demanding. If you want low cost merchandise, go to your local bargain store like Wal-Mart or Target where the cash registers are up front as you enter and exit the building, and maybe if you're lucky, you'll find someone in the department you're wandering in to help you out.

So whose fault is it that retail employees are undertrained, underpaid, and just don't give a damn about their jobs? Is it lack of concern and poor managerial skills? Or is it that shoppers expect too much from their department stores? Low Prices.. Great Service.. Great Merchandise. Is it really possible to achieve all three?

Wishing You Lots of Ladybugs

Originally I had decided to name this blog "The Princess Diaries." It was a throwback to one of my favorite movies while at the same time reminiscent of one of my nicknames in a previous life. However, in looking for a good image at iStockPhoto.com to use in my profile photo (alas, I only have pictures of my husband or our wedding.. none really of ME), I came across some cute illustrations of ladybugs and it changed my whole outlook on this blog thing.

My ladybug fascination started in the fall of 2001. My future husband and I were making plans via the internet to get married down in Gatlinburg that October. Being the girl that I am, I was constantly looking up things about weddings like traditions, and superstitions, and dresses, and flowers, and .. you name it, I found it.

One of the things I came across was a superstition regarding ladybugs and weddings. It's said that if you find a ladybug on your wedding dress on the day of your wedding, you will have a long and happy marriage. So, I read this, smiled, and prayed for ladybugs. Someone must have heard my prayer.

So, like I said, we were married in Gatlinburg, TN, in October -- an amazing time to be surrounded by those mountains. As part of the wedding package, we rented a cabin near town. My dad and his girlfriend rented a cabin from the same place, and it just so happens that their cabin was just up the hill from ours by about one hundred feet. I could literally throw a rock from our front door and hit their back porch. Very close. It's a good thing I love my dad. :)

Anyway, our cabin was infested.. and I mean infested.. with ladybugs. They were everywhere. Hundreds of them. Probably thousands. Some dead, most alive. All over the place. Everywhere. Needless to say, I had more than a few on my wedding dress the day we got married. My dad's cabin that was oh-so-close didn't have one single tiny ladybug the entire weekend. Can you believe it? None at all.

For some reason, a lot of people get freaked out when I mention all these bugs all over the place. Maybe I'm just strange, but I took it as a token of good luck and just knew Lars was the guy for me for ever and ever and ever. And ever. :) Oh, and thanks to the folks at Sugarland Weddings for helping us have a fantastic wedding!

So here's wishing you lots of ladybugs...:)

When in Doubt, MoveNext

So my interns were at the office last night working on their project for one of our not-for-profit clients. They seem to think I know what I'm doing, so we were writing some snappy pseudo code on the whiteboard to help them formulate a plan for the page they were working on.

At some point in the conversation, I added, "Oh Yeah! Don't forget to MoveNext!" They always forget to finish the loop, they said. I told them for the first year I actually worked in web development, MoveNext was the bane of my existence. At some point while I was at ITT learning how to do what I do, I decided I was going to write a book about my experiences there. A whole chapter was devoted to MoveNext.

It's amazing how that one simple command applies to most of life. When you are done with what you're doing, MoveNext. If you get stuck on what you're doing, MoveNext. If things aren't going the way they're supposed to or you get an unexpected result, either handle it, or MoveNext. MOVE ON. It's a good principle to live by. If you never MoveNext, you get stuck in the same routine, doing the same thing over and over again. And what fun is that?