I'm Just a Victim Here

Ok.. I think I just need to rant.

Don't get me wrong. I love my sister. I have spent the last 26 years of my life making sure she's taken care of and being there when she needs me (whether she realized it or not).

So, yeah, my feelings were hurt when she claimed she was "all alone" in her latest pregnancy. (She learned at about 4 months that the baby had a 1% survival rate because it was missing some vital organs like the kidneys.) My feelings were hurt even more when she chose her best friend to be in the room and make her decisions rather than me or Mom. But I love my sister, we were all there for her, whether she wanted us to be or not, and now that it's over, she realizes just how much her pregnancy and the baby affected us, too, not just her.

But these last few days have made me want to shake her senseless until she gets a clue. She's in a lousy job. She works for Village Pantry, and every day she comes home complaining about some stupid thing said to her or done to her. Her title is "Manager in Training" because they can't find a store to keep her in (she's been manager and not manager more times than I can count on one hand). Yet people who slack off and kiss butt seem to get promoted (and fired) like crazy. Before she recently got the title of Manager last year, she was told they couldn't make her manager because she was too good as an assistant manager. The store she was at would fall apart if she changed locations. What kind of bullcrap is that????

So VP's recent shenanigans have her finally looking for a job some place else. Her entire life she has wanted to be an accountant, but the first time she tried to go to school she flunked out because she was too wrapped up in her deadbeat boyfriend with an attitude problem -- come on, wanting to celebrate her birthday with her sister and friends is a CRIME? THERE is a whole other story. Her second attempt at college only lasted one semester because the company that was paying for it fired her.. because she wasn't professional with the customers. She claims it was because she got pregnant and wasn't married.

But now she won't go back to school because it costs too much and she doesn't have enough time. Kiddo, I'm not promising it will be easy. Yes, it will take a lot of time to focus on your schoolwork. But, it IS possible. School is EASY for working adults with families. There are hundreds.. thousands.. of programs dedicated to adults interested in furthering their careers. To get anywhere in this world today, you need to have a degree, and colleges and universities all over the world are jumping on the immediate revenue possibilities generated by that need. Financial aid is so amazingly offered that you don't have to pay for school until six months after you graduate. That should be PLENTY of time to find a decent job if you're not searching for that damn needle.

Look, I go to school full time currently. Up until last month, I worked two jobs on top of it. AND I still try to spend time with my husband and doggie and kitties... and usually succeed. But it's not easy. You have to learn how to budget your time .. you want to be an accountant, so learn how to budget, girl.

Ok, the real thing that set me off today though is her personal appearance. She's a smoker, has been for years. It shows. She probably doesn't have the best dental hygiene on top of it. The seams between her teeth are caked with plaque and tar. She says she has cavities in most of her teeth. It's really rather disgusting to look at. But she won't get them fixed. It costs too much. Her insurance won't cover a fraction of it, and she can't afford to take the time off from work that would be needed to have it done. Since she's looking for a job at a bank, our dad offered to help her get her teeth looked at, cleaned, and fixed. I'd even put money on that he would help her pay her bills if she had to take a month off work to have it done.

And you know what she said? Her feelings were hurt. It was awfully snobbish of him to imply that she needs to concentrate on her appearance if she's going to be in the public eye every day. Her response that she already is only sparked a debate about how people on the south side of Indy might accept that she doesn't care about her teeth, but if she's going to look for jobs at banks on the north side she needs to take better care of herself.

Honestly, it doesn't really matter WHERE you get that job. People make up their minds about you in the first thirty seconds that they meet you. If you give them a bad impression, you spend all your time convincing them how wonderful you really are and trying to change their minds rather than building on an already great relationship because their first opinion was the right one. It's like putting on jeans, then taking them off, trying on thirty other pairs of jeans just to go back to the first one. Why waste the effort is the first one was right in the first place?

Anywho, as much as I love my sister and the darling children she has produced, if she wants to set a good example for her kids, she herself needs to grow up and get over herself. STOP BEING A VICTIM!!! It's not everyone else's fault that you have a crummy job. It's not everyone else's fault that you haven't succeeded at school. It's not everyone else's fault that you look like you don't care about yourself. GROW UP ALREADY.

Ok I'm done now.