Bridal Showers, Bachelorette Parties, and Weddings, Oh My!
Let me start by saying that my friend Marty is a younger version of me. Everything she says and does makes me chuckle because four years ago, I could have been saying or doing the exact same thing. It's uncanny. It's weird to say "when I was her age," but I have literally done so much growing up in the last five years, it feels like a lifetime ago since "I was her age."
Let me point out a few of the similarities:
a) She's thin and blonde. I used to be, when I was her age.
b) She has a know-it-all attitude. I still know it all, but now I recognize other people can know it all, too. Sometimes.
c) She gets immediately humble when it's pointed out to her that she's a know-it-all. (But she really does, I trained her well.)
d) She met her fiance online. I met my current husband online.
e) Her fiance is about six years older than her. My ex-husband is about six years older than me.
f) Her fiance has a very controlling attitude. So does my ex-husband.
g) Her wedding is set for August 13, the day they started dating three years ago. My first wedding was on August 14, four years after the day we had started dating.
I'm really afraid for her. I fell really hard when my ex-husband and I split up. I'm just glad Lars was there to catch me. Not really sure why he stuck around... but he did, and we're happy! :) But that's another story. This story is about Marty. Or actually, Vi. But I'll get to that in a minute.
So anyway, Marty is very... conservative. When she found out that her other two bridesmaids and I were getting together to plan her bridal shower, we were given a list of rules we had to follow. At the top was "No Strippers." Well, duh! It's the shower, not the bachelorette party. I promptly told her that we intended to break all her rules. She hung up on me.
Anywho, one of the girls she works with is Vietnamese. Vi (pronounced vee not vye) is an adorable little lady with an accent that I'm only now starting to understand completely. We decided to invite her to the bridal shower, and when getting her address tonight she said that she had never been to an American wedding before. She's lived here for six years now, but all the wedding she's been to since have all been Vietnamese, and they still followed their own traditions. So she says I need to sit next to her to explain everything to her so I don't stand out more than she does. (Yes, I wrote that exactly as she said it--so I don't stand out more than she does!) She's so cute. :)
I can't wait to have her at the party. I may have to call and invite her to some of the planning parties so that she can see what it's all about. I'm sure weddings are a big ordeal everywhere, but in true American fashion, we've blown it up to a huge gift-giving spree. This particular gift-giving session will have a Hawaiian Luau theme, so we're expecting to have a lot of fun with it.
At least our blushing bride has finally registered. Her excuse for not registering before a couple of weeks ago was that she and Kevin already have everything they need. So her bridesmaids took that opportunity to educate her on the things she wants. Whether she wants them to or not, people are going to want to buy them things for their wedding. She might as well get things she likes, rather than Aunt Rosa's chicken-shaped cookie jar that's expected to hold a place of honor in her ultra-modern black and chrome kitchen with tropical accents.
I know, you should appreciate every gift given, and you should appreciate people coming to the wedding whether they bring a gift or not -- after all, you truly want to share that day with the people who are closest to you. (In her case, all 250 of them.) But don't you appreciate the gift more when it's something that you've wanted but never purchased for yourself? And you register for a whole wide array of things so those with smaller budgets can still get you something while those with bigger budgets can spoil you silly, and you have enough choices that all 250 guests can get you something that will have significance to you and them. For example, I'll probably go ahead and buy her those bundt cake forms, even though, like me, she doesn't cook and probably will never use them more than once. But we both like the pans -- they're pretty! I'm such a girl sometimes. :)
Let me point out a few of the similarities:
a) She's thin and blonde. I used to be, when I was her age.
b) She has a know-it-all attitude. I still know it all, but now I recognize other people can know it all, too. Sometimes.
c) She gets immediately humble when it's pointed out to her that she's a know-it-all. (But she really does, I trained her well.)
d) She met her fiance online. I met my current husband online.
e) Her fiance is about six years older than her. My ex-husband is about six years older than me.
f) Her fiance has a very controlling attitude. So does my ex-husband.
g) Her wedding is set for August 13, the day they started dating three years ago. My first wedding was on August 14, four years after the day we had started dating.
I'm really afraid for her. I fell really hard when my ex-husband and I split up. I'm just glad Lars was there to catch me. Not really sure why he stuck around... but he did, and we're happy! :) But that's another story. This story is about Marty. Or actually, Vi. But I'll get to that in a minute.
So anyway, Marty is very... conservative. When she found out that her other two bridesmaids and I were getting together to plan her bridal shower, we were given a list of rules we had to follow. At the top was "No Strippers." Well, duh! It's the shower, not the bachelorette party. I promptly told her that we intended to break all her rules. She hung up on me.
Anywho, one of the girls she works with is Vietnamese. Vi (pronounced vee not vye) is an adorable little lady with an accent that I'm only now starting to understand completely. We decided to invite her to the bridal shower, and when getting her address tonight she said that she had never been to an American wedding before. She's lived here for six years now, but all the wedding she's been to since have all been Vietnamese, and they still followed their own traditions. So she says I need to sit next to her to explain everything to her so I don't stand out more than she does. (Yes, I wrote that exactly as she said it--so I don't stand out more than she does!) She's so cute. :)
I can't wait to have her at the party. I may have to call and invite her to some of the planning parties so that she can see what it's all about. I'm sure weddings are a big ordeal everywhere, but in true American fashion, we've blown it up to a huge gift-giving spree. This particular gift-giving session will have a Hawaiian Luau theme, so we're expecting to have a lot of fun with it.
At least our blushing bride has finally registered. Her excuse for not registering before a couple of weeks ago was that she and Kevin already have everything they need. So her bridesmaids took that opportunity to educate her on the things she wants. Whether she wants them to or not, people are going to want to buy them things for their wedding. She might as well get things she likes, rather than Aunt Rosa's chicken-shaped cookie jar that's expected to hold a place of honor in her ultra-modern black and chrome kitchen with tropical accents.
I know, you should appreciate every gift given, and you should appreciate people coming to the wedding whether they bring a gift or not -- after all, you truly want to share that day with the people who are closest to you. (In her case, all 250 of them.) But don't you appreciate the gift more when it's something that you've wanted but never purchased for yourself? And you register for a whole wide array of things so those with smaller budgets can still get you something while those with bigger budgets can spoil you silly, and you have enough choices that all 250 guests can get you something that will have significance to you and them. For example, I'll probably go ahead and buy her those bundt cake forms, even though, like me, she doesn't cook and probably will never use them more than once. But we both like the pans -- they're pretty! I'm such a girl sometimes. :)
posted by Pami @ 7:35 PM
2 Comments:
At 10:30 AM, June 22, 2005,
Anonymous said…
I want to go back to this "Kevin". What in the hell is Marty thinking? Kevin is a total control freak. You know they will end up in a divorce. I'm saying that right now. It'll be on your blog so later you can show her that someone predicted it. If they don't get a divorce she is going to go through life unhappy, miserable with kids.
At 10:28 PM, June 22, 2005,
Pami said…
I don't know. They've actually made quite a bit of progress. I think the biggest wake up call for him was after a fight one night, she left her rings on the pillow when she left for work the next morning. I've told her all the problems that I've had with my ex-husband, and that there are a few things that they're going to have to work out before they ever make it official, such as:
1) Communicate communcicate communicate. Can't say it enough. Talk to each other.
2) While being married is great, being with one person 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year, is not great. Make sure to get some alone time.
3) It's not all about Marty and it's not all about Kevin anymore. It's about Marty and Kevin.
While I agree they'll probably end up divorced, they really have made a lot more progress than I ever did with my ex-husband, so all I can do is hope for the best, and be there for her if her world does fall apart. She does have one advantage that I didn't have. He does seem to truly care about her. She's not just a trophy wife. He is trying to give them a good life together, not just a good life for him. Which is good, imho.
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